A Season of Gratitude: Give Thanks to Yourself, Too!

A Season of Gratitude

Give Thanks to Yourself, Too!

By NAfME Member Lori Schwartz Reichl

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”—Jack Kornfield

The Reason for the Season

As we bid farewell to November and welcome December, many of us look fondly toward an earned break from work or an escape from the daily grind of life. We might be looking forward to spending time with loved ones, traveling, or relaxing. The accompanying holidays represent a season of gratitude. Hopefully, we will continue this habit of giving thanks into the new year, too. (Listen to the Making Key Changes podcast Episode #42 Love, Serve, Lead for ideas on ways to do so.) 

As we consider our own habits in giving thanks, do we ever give thanks to ourselves—for who we have loved, served, or led? Do we acknowledge what we have done and for whom? Do we realize the influence and impact we can have while alive? Or, does a lifetime go by without crediting ourselves and recognizing our own efforts, achievements, and qualities?

Showing Gratitude toward Everyone

During November, the Making Key Changes weekly podcast and weekly newsletter, which is emailed each Wednesday (subscribe here), I spoke about gratitude and reasons and ways to show gratitude to those we love, serve, and lead and to those who love, serve, or lead us. We reviewed the health benefits of showing gratitude and how that can improve our overall well-being and performance, in addition to the health and productivity of others.

However, we rarely discuss the importance and necessity of thanking ourselves. Although this may seem somewhat silly at first, it can be a much-needed self-affirming moment. I don’t know about you, but since the end of summer, I feel like I have been on a bullet train that has yet to stop! Fall has gone by in a flash, filled with family, professional, and personal commitments. At times, I feel like I rush through the week to get to the weekend, and then the weekends are as busy, if not busier, than the weekdays! Do you feel the same way? What have you done to counter this feeling?

A Habit of Reflection and Self-Affirmation

A few years ago, I started a practice that I hope I never stop doing. Each year, I schedule a massage on the day before Thanksgiving. This practice started a few years ago. I had a gift certificate for a massage that was several years old and set to expire by the end of that year. I would have kicked myself had I not used it in time, but when I finally reviewed the calendar to schedule the massage, the days between Thanksgiving and the New Year were packed with plans. At first, I didn’t think I could find 90 minutes for myself, but I forced myself to do so. I blocked off 90 minutes the day before Thanksgiving and finally booked that massage. It was one of the best things I could do for myself at that time, and it’s a practice that I continue to do annually during the holiday season.

While relaxed on the massage bed, rather than falling asleep, I fell into a moment of thanksgiving. First, I reflected and gave thanks to everyone in my life who had loved, served, and led me. Then, I slowly and stubbornly did the same for myself to remember who I had loved, served, and led. I began to reflect on my year and acknowledged what I had accomplished personally and professionally. I reviewed what I did for my family, what I did for myself, what I did for my colleagues and students, and what I did for my career and profession. Of course, many of my failures came to mind, too. But in that moment, instead of wishing that things were different in my life, I pushed myself to focus on the positive. I am sure I shed a tear or two. I have continued this relaxed reflection tradition each year. My massage was scheduled for November 27 in the afternoon. Do you do anything similar to thank yourself?

The Benefits of Showing Gratitude

Reflection and showing gratitude are important practices for both mental well-being and personal growth. Reflecting and thanking ourselves can be just as important, too. Don’t think of this process as being arrogant; rather, it’s about recognizing the key changes we have made and honoring our efforts, growth, and potential through this transformation. This vital practice can allow us to build a healthy relationship with ourselves and discover the courage, care, confidence, and change needed to keep surviving and thriving.

Consider these key changes for giving thanks to yourself and understanding the importance and necessity of this reflective practice:

• Key Change #1: Boost Confidence
  

  Thanking yourself reinforces the belief in your abilities and potential. Regardless of how big or small they are, acknowledging your strengths and accomplishments can allow you to feel more capable and motivated to carry on in life, continue to make key changes to grow, and reach your greatest potential both alone and in collaboration with those you love, serve, or lead. This practice may encourage you to engage in more positive thought and self-talk throughout the year, transforming your inner perspective and dialogue from critical to supportive or unworthy to confident. When was the last time you were proud of yourself?

• Key Change #2: Prevent Burnout
  

  As we discussed in the Making Key Changes podcast episodes #2: Burnout: Confront and Conquer It and #12: Banishing Burnout, burnout consists of the three components of exhaustion, cynicism, and inefficacy. When we give credit to others but neglect to acknowledge our own contributions to a shared vision, we fail to recognize our own achievements, which can lead to more burnout, resentment, or a negative perspective on life. Self-recognition can be part of a broader practice of self-care. You deserve to be proud of yourself, and celebrating your accomplishments is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle. Just like we crave recognition and gratitude from others, giving thanks to yourself is an understanding that your time, energy, and efforts are valuable, whether it’s in a personal or professional setting. When was the last time you gave yourself credit for your achievements?

• Key Change #3: Improve Motivation
  

  When you identify your progress and give credit to yourself, it encourages accountability. This helps you to stay on track. By giving yourself credit, you reinforce the idea that your success is not just the result of external factors or other people’s efforts, but that you have agency in your own life. OWN it! (If you remember from podcast episode #36: ONE Word—OWN is my word for 2024!) This sense of autonomy empowers you and enables you to grow even more. As you continue to make key changes to grow and achieve your goals, your motivation will improve. Giving thanks to yourself is like a celebration of who you are and who you are becoming. It gives you a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. This positive reinforcement encourages continued effort and action without forgetting your vision and mission, as discussed in podcast episode #17: Mission Possible. When was the last time you motivated yourself?

Thank the Most Important Person

Being an educator or entrepreneur, just like other hats we wear, can be lonely. I have found that if I don’t give credit to myself, sometimes nobody else will. In order to keep going in life, at our work, or on a project, it’s necessary to believe in yourself, acknowledge your path, and be thankful for all you have achieved, even when others don’t show appreciation to you.

During this season of gratitude, while giving thanks to everyone who surrounds you in your loving, serving, and leading spaces, don’t forget to give thanks to yourself, too! It might be the gratitude you need to boost your confidence, prevent burnout, and improve your motivation during the holiday season and the New Year ahead!

Listen to the Making Key Changes podcast episode #44: Give Thanks to Yourself to discover key changes you can make to give thanks to yourself and understand the importance and necessity of this reflective practice.

Photo at top by Chela B. on Unsplash

About the author:

Dr. Lori Schwartz Reichl is the visionary thought leader of Making Key Changes. Her career began in music education where she learned the importance of a key change—a shift in the tonal center of a piece of music, often used to inject energy or produce significance. She eventually realized the necessity and impact of making key changes in many areas of her life and the desire to help others do the same.

Since transitioning out of one classroom as a public school teacher, Lori has uniquely created a global classroom for her work. She motivates organizations, teams, and individuals to reflect on their daily practices and offers actionable key changes to grow. She guides all contributors to create and maintain a shared vision in their communities, companies, classrooms, and careers. Together, they unlock their greatest potential in collaboration with those they love, serve, and lead.
Learn more about Dr. Lori Schwartz Reichl at MakingKeyChanges.com. Subscribe to her Making Key Changes weekly newsletter and listen to her weekly podcast.

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